10/28/2005

Mind the Gap

I have twice tripped stepping out of red line trains. I haven't noticed other people doing it, but it's not like I trip around everywhere I go, either. Maybe I'm in the early stages of Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease or, heaven forbid, Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (I hope not, because then I'd have to use the T's elevators--also known as VUTS [Vertical Urinal Transport Systems]--and I don't think I could cope. Speaking of diseases, the T is the perfect place to catch 'em. Bird flu, anyone?--but more on that in a future post!)

Tripping's embarrassing, of course, but the trick is, just don't look back. Of course if you fall flat on your face people feel obligated to draw attention to it. They pretend to be concerned. Even if you'd broken your arm, or something, you'd be like, "no, heh heh, everything's fine! Don't mind me!" And here your arm's all twisted backwards. "No, it was like that before! I was born this way! Really!"

For the record, I didn't fall on my face. I just sort of stumbled out of the starting gate, and then proceeded on as if nothing had happened. But looking back briefly I saw that the trains are a good couple of inches below the platforms (I swear--I'll get photographic proof, too).

I'll acclimate. People do. Still, I think they should have a "mind the gap" announcement, like they do in the London Underground. Maybe Governor Mittney could do it. He likes to point out that danger is lurking everywhere. This a perfect PSA for him! The announcement could go something like: "mind the gap, defend traditional marriage from sodomites and fornicators, report suspicious Arabs, and start stockpiling canned goods and bottled water for the apocalypse!"

1 Comments:

At 11/05/2005 8:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

T needs more to spend more on trains and less peripheral BS like clocktowers @ Forest Hills and tilework. Maybe a couple of TVs would help take our mind off the distasteful commute of the T.
Maybe a car for people carrying big bundles could help.
I often cannot see out the window because of the crowd. Maybe an annoucement of the stops would help during rush hours. It is usually garbled.

 

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